Defeated, Never!

For the past two days, the “devil” has been trying to make me feel defeated.  I have been worrying a bit too much about my new job (which I have not started yet), worried that I won’t be good enough, that I am not smart enough or capable.  I noticed that my self talk has been negative.

But in all this, I have a choice! And this morning as I woke up I said to God, I am not defeated, I have no reason to worry, I will cast all my cares on you, because you care for me.  I believe I got this job through divine intervention, and I will do my utmost to be my best at it.

I got a second chance at quiet a few things, God is showing me my areas of weakness, small things about me that are not in tune with his will.  And I will have to fix it immediately. But these kinks in my life are not showing failure, but ways to improve and become better at life.

I am not defeated, I will no longer be worried, I will only do my utmost to bring glory to God.

Fervor and Not Fear

With fervor, that angel came after me, he chased me with such urgency!

I was afraid, sorely afraid, because I could not tell what it was!

Batman? A man-bat? I could not discern, and I ran as fast as I could.

My long, lanky legs took me over fences, walls, under bridges

Behind the middle house in the cul de sac at the end of Cameron Drive.

I didn’t see that wretched root, as I scaled the 4 foot white picket fence.

I fell, face planted more like it! I didn’t hear the “snap”, I didn’t feel it!

The adrenaline coursing my veins, my fright and flight response!

The screamed in unison, “Get up you ass, run! run!” and I tried.

But I fell again.  Disabled, nowhere to run, I postured to defend!

But he saw that I was hurt, damaged, and he looked at me.

His eyes stripped me to the core of my soul, but not with judgment.

But with knowing and understanding. My eyes met his, without fear.

I too understood and I surrendered, I needed him, to fix me, heal me.

In that speechless moment, I had no choice but to trust him.

He tended to my wounds, defiant in silence, that lack of spoken word.

But that would soon end, for once he healed me, he spoke.

His voice resonated with in my heart, it rumbled like thunder,

Yet, it was clear and crisp, cool as resplendent water flowing wistfully in a meadow brook.

He spoke of my life, and the directions I must choose.

My power is absolutely the power of choice!

Fear is my disability, if I choose to let it rule my choices, and I don’t.

He asked, what would you do if you were not afraid?

I would never fail! I would be excellent! I would conquer all obstacles.