DID I DO MY BEST TODAY?

My campaign to be the best continues, as I look back on my last assignment and self assess (not beat myself up or put myself down), I asked myself one question.  “Can you HONESTLY say that you did your best?”, the answer is no.  I started out with the best intentions in mind, and I achieved quiet a bit in a short time (with in 90 days of taking over my platoon, we consolidated and turned in over $1,000,000 in excess equipment), but I managed to allow “something” to slow me down, to distract me from my course.  I became “disgruntled” with how things were done above my level, yet instead of taking action to create change for the better, I decided recluse  myself.

I love second chances, I am in a new place, with a new challenge and a big fire burning in my belly.  I will take this place by storm, I will make it better (it’s already good), but I have decided on two questions that I must ask daily and internalize.

1. Prior to the start of my day I will ask “what would I do today if I were not afraid?”

2. At the end of my day I will ask “did I do my best today?”

I will never speak negatively of myself again, I will never put myself down or beat myself up for anything.  It solves nothing, it creates self doubt, and the last thing you or need to do is doubt ourselves.

Today, I did crossfit with my commander (he is a freak of nature, #beastmodeonwith NOS!) I was sore from the previous two days of crossfit, and I felt my “tiny heart syndrome” flaring up.  As I did my front squat with a mere 45LBS bar, I felt a whine try to escape my mouth, I mentally rebuked myself! and I asked “is that your best? can you do better? do you have more inside?”  I had more, I always have more, but I am usually afraid to dig it up and I really cannot tell you why (because I don’t know why).  So, instead of uttering a “tiny heart whine” I affirmed myself out loud “I can do this! I got this”.

I quit feeling sorry for myself, and my sore body, though I noticed I was moving slower than my younger counter parts after the workout, I popped two Motrin, drank water and Soldiered on.  When I noticed I was moving slowly, I picked up the pace (just a little bit ;)). I have determined that I will/must consciously decide daily to NOT be my biggest obstacle.

I do have a fear of failure, as a child that fear crippled me, it prevented me from trying hardest, now it drives me to do my best today!

Open Doors: It Just Feels Right

Let me talk to you about “open doors” for a minute or 10.  When I first got to Hunter Army Airfield, I knew I wanted to be a company executive officer (XO), but I was given a platoon leader (PL) position which is a key development (KD) position for most officers.  I was a little uncertain, and a little intimidated as the PL though I tried to hide it.  But sooner than later I came into my own as a leader. I also observed somethings that I allowed to turn off my passion and drive, this was obviously to my detriment.  I should have remained vigilent to the end, even so, my evaluation was not terrible or even bad.  But I know my potential and its MUCH better than I allowed myself to recieve.  I began fasting for an XO position back in March of this year, I did two 40 day fasts, and simply forgotten and given up hope.  I got my first evaluation which was pretty good, and then, I felt a strong “urge” to let my commander know that since I have been already rated for PL time, which is KD then I would like to open up my position to any new lieutenant (LT) in the battalion who needed KD time.  As I made that offer, the battalion commander was talking with another young, talented LT about what jobs he wanted, and my job (maintenance PL) was the one.  Somewhere along the line I had a change of heart and I wanted to keep my platoon, but God had other plans, namely, answering the prayer/fast I made back in March.  So, after about 30 days of foot dragging, the switch was made, and I was assigned to the “dracula’s castle” aka the battalion headquarters as the assistant S4.  I vehemently protested going to S4, and  as God would have it, we had a  month long field problem, and that is when God decided it was time to make his move.  Division had a requirement for four LT’s to fill XO positions, and all the brigades had to submit names, I was selected above four other LTs in my Brigade, and I was one of four LTs selected throughout the Division.  I did my interview and I aced it! Caveat: my battalion XO said I probably would not even get the job (ha! it is not what you know, but who you know amen).  I prayed  just before the interview and I prayed after, I had to wait about 30 days to hear personally from the BN CDR, and during the 30 day wait I became discouraged.  So I started another 40 day fast, and that is when claimed it! I told God, you gave me this job, give me faith to hold on and be patient.  I had peace, and it was the day before my birthday that I got the call.  Everything just felt right, based on the turn of events, I can only conclude that God opended  the doors.  I suspect that nothing will be easy, but if He brought me to it, He will see me through it.

Siddartha and Solomon

I have been Christian all my life, and even when I look into other religions, I still seem to come back to where I was grounded and rooted.  I think some how that is very understandable.  I have considered, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Islam.

I have found some general parallels on almost all the major religious practices, they are as follows:

GOD:

Worship, love and honor Him/Her

MAN:

Love all man, do not harm each other

Those are the very BASIC tenants, I mean, we could go so much deeper into this, (and I believe I will later on) but at a very minimum this is it.

Here is what I really wanted to share with you, Siddartha was born a ruler, but he left home in search of God and on his journey he came to several discoveries, he founded Buddhism and garnered many followers before passing away. But, he taught that nothing is lost in the universe, everything will change and most common to all is Karma, the law of cause and effect. King Solomon was considered the wisest man alive of his time, we believe that Jesus is his direct descendant.  He was obviously born into royalty (his daddy was King David, hence, hem becoming King Solomon lol), and he relished it.  But as he got older he too noted a few things, Ecclesiastes was written to enlighten people, to show them the “suffering and misery of seeking after foolish, meaningless, materialistic emptiness, and to offer wisdom by discovering truth in seeking after God.” http://biblehub.com/summary/ecclesiastes/1.htm The above link will give you the full text.

Here is a brief summary of what King Solomon discovered as documented in the book of Ecclesiastes:

Ch.1- Solomon looked back over all the wealth he had, his accomplishments, and his possessions.

Ch.2- Solomon conducted his search for life’s meaning as an experiment.

Ch.3- Solomon believed that there is a time and place for everything, whether it be good or bad.

Ch.4- He believed that going to the extremes of being lazy or a workaholic is foolish and irresponsible.

Ch.5- We should be open to God.

Ch.6- Even though a person has lived a long and prosperous life, it is ultimately meaningless.

Ch.7- Enjoy what you have while you can, but realize that adversity and hard times can strike at any moment.

Ch.8- True wisdom comes from knowing and trusting God, not merely the way to find him.

Ch.9- Solomon believes in enjoying life as God’s gift.

Ch.10- By describing circumstances that are unfair or don’t make sense, Solomon is saying that wisdom alone cant bring justice.

Ch.11- Because life has no guarantees, we should seize available opportunities and not play it safe.

Ch. 12- Solomon writes a conclusion that clears up the entire book, everyone will eventually die and all the deeds of man are vanity (useless) without God; our obedience must be to Him. “The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: Fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person.” (12:13).

The above outline with more in depth explanations are found at the following link http://www.telechem.com/7ups/ECCLESIASTES.htm

Buddha also had thoughts to bestow based on his travels and what he garnered from his discoveries.  Continue reading.

Buddha presented the 4 Noble Truthes

1. There is Suffering Suffering is common to all.
2. Cause of Suffering We are the cause of our suffering.
3. End of Suffering Stop doing what causes suffering.
4. Path to end Suffering Everyone can be enlightened.

And the Noble Eightfold Path

1. Right View. The right way to think about life is to see the world through the eyes of the Buddha–with wisdom and compassion.

2. Right Thought. We are what we think. Clear and kind thoughts build good, strong characters.

3. Right Speech. By speaking kind and helpful words, we are respected and trusted by everyone.

4. Right Conduct. No matter what we say, others know us from the way we behave. Before we criticize others, we should first see what we do ourselves.

5. Right Livelihood. This means choosing a job that does not hurt others. The Buddha said, “Do not earn your living by harming others. Do not seek happiness by making others unhappy.”

6. Right Effort. A worthwhile life means doing our best at all times and having good will toward others. This also means not wasting effort on things that harm ourselves and others.

7. Right Mindfulness. This means being aware of our thoughts, words, and deeds.

8. Right Concentration. Focus on one thought or object at a time. By doing this, we can be quiet and attain true peace of mind. The above can ne found at the following link: http://online.sfsu.edu/rone/Buddhism/footsteps.htm

So what do you think about the comparison? I would love to read your comments.

Photo Credits at the links below:

http://www.god-is-so-easy.com/resources/_wsb_765x1033_Siddharta+Gautama.jpg

https://wahinewarriorgoddess.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/19bce-kingsolomon.jpg

Defeated, Never!

For the past two days, the “devil” has been trying to make me feel defeated.  I have been worrying a bit too much about my new job (which I have not started yet), worried that I won’t be good enough, that I am not smart enough or capable.  I noticed that my self talk has been negative.

But in all this, I have a choice! And this morning as I woke up I said to God, I am not defeated, I have no reason to worry, I will cast all my cares on you, because you care for me.  I believe I got this job through divine intervention, and I will do my utmost to be my best at it.

I got a second chance at quiet a few things, God is showing me my areas of weakness, small things about me that are not in tune with his will.  And I will have to fix it immediately. But these kinks in my life are not showing failure, but ways to improve and become better at life.

I am not defeated, I will no longer be worried, I will only do my utmost to bring glory to God.

Fervor and Not Fear

With fervor, that angel came after me, he chased me with such urgency!

I was afraid, sorely afraid, because I could not tell what it was!

Batman? A man-bat? I could not discern, and I ran as fast as I could.

My long, lanky legs took me over fences, walls, under bridges

Behind the middle house in the cul de sac at the end of Cameron Drive.

I didn’t see that wretched root, as I scaled the 4 foot white picket fence.

I fell, face planted more like it! I didn’t hear the “snap”, I didn’t feel it!

The adrenaline coursing my veins, my fright and flight response!

The screamed in unison, “Get up you ass, run! run!” and I tried.

But I fell again.  Disabled, nowhere to run, I postured to defend!

But he saw that I was hurt, damaged, and he looked at me.

His eyes stripped me to the core of my soul, but not with judgment.

But with knowing and understanding. My eyes met his, without fear.

I too understood and I surrendered, I needed him, to fix me, heal me.

In that speechless moment, I had no choice but to trust him.

He tended to my wounds, defiant in silence, that lack of spoken word.

But that would soon end, for once he healed me, he spoke.

His voice resonated with in my heart, it rumbled like thunder,

Yet, it was clear and crisp, cool as resplendent water flowing wistfully in a meadow brook.

He spoke of my life, and the directions I must choose.

My power is absolutely the power of choice!

Fear is my disability, if I choose to let it rule my choices, and I don’t.

He asked, what would you do if you were not afraid?

I would never fail! I would be excellent! I would conquer all obstacles.

Acknowledge and Affirm Him

That Thing

DISCLAIMER #1: To my loving, handsome, uber driven and intellectual brother I love you! And I think its better to ask forgiveness that permission (in this case) so, please forgive me :).  You have taught me a lot and have helped me grow as a woman (especially where dealing with men is concerned) and I thank you.

Ladies, I have learned a few things from my brothers, you see, I have blessed to have two older brothers who have instinctively protected me, as I have had the opportunity to observe them in life and relationships.  I think it is due to my observations that I am still single, that and a few other things ( I like to think of it as minutia really, but its not lol).

Gentlemen, I am sure you will agree with me, may times we start relationships with all positive feelings, smiles and mush.  Staying up…

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ThinkerToys: Such a cool book!

Every time I go to Barns & Nobles I spend more money than I intend to! But, and its a HUGE BUT, I always feel it’s totally worth it.  I bought a cool book called THINKERTOYS by Michael Michalko, it has great ideas to inspire creativity and creative thinking (possibly one and the same).  It ties into the theme I have been posting on the past few weeks (give or take a day or two), which is making positive changes.  The first chapter of delves into addressing our fears, which is the killer of creativity. I got so excited about it, that I took to Facebook right away! Here is what I posted.

Doubts, Uncertainties, Fears:

So many times we let our doubts, uncertainties and fears affect our creativity, our drive for success.

To change this we need to transform our negative thoughts in to new and positive attitudes. The following are ways to do so:

1. Acknowledge your negative feelings then focus your energy on what you wish to substitute them for. Never take counsel from your fears. If you feel you are not good enough acknowledge it and then, affirm yourself that you are good enough!

2. Increase your Self Affirmation. Make a habit of remembering your successes, your good qualities and characteristics, while forgetting your failures. Remember, success breeds success! This practice will cause you to experience even more successes. Record the things you like about yourself, in all areas of your life, they will motivate you to get going!

3. Imagine yourself as successful (at whatever it is you choose to be) Picture yourself vividly achieving your goals, and that in itself will greatly contribute to your success. You must affirm that you believe it to be true.

Try this exercise:

Write a statement of affirmation, then write it 20 different ways using first, second and third persons. As you write, you may have negative thoughts come up, write them down on another sheet, and continue to write your positive affirmations. Once complete, look at the negative thoughts you wrote, they represent your obstacles, negate them by writing positive affirmations that specifically address those obstacles.

PS: I think you are fully capable of realizing any goal you set for yourself!

Ideas for Thought

Guest Post: One Habit That Will Change Your Life

What would you do if you were not afraid?

That Thing

The question of the day for me is: What would you do if you were not afraid? Yesterday, I met with some young ladies from my battalion for a lunch and learn session.  We talked about change, why it is difficult for so many of us and techniques to overcome those difficulties.  We covered theories from books like “Who Moved My Cheese” and Switch (both books that I absolutely adore).  However, the question that struck me (strange that it never did before, since I read the book already), was the question written on a wall in a maze by an indecisive man (mouse) called “Haw” (Who Moved My Cheese); what would you do if you were not afraid?

Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you today, that the mind is the prison that hold you captive, and fear is the key used to lock the doors.  I have read in…

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